Spoken words like moonlight. You're the voice that I like.

I decided to take a bath.. it lasted about 40 minutes.. I am pruney, soft and I smell good from bath mix stuff.  clean, lavendary, cozy.   

I listened to The Stills radio station on Pandora.. and drank a glass of wine.. alternating between zoning out and flinging drops of water towards Corbin.  The rhythm of the water is relaxing.

Bathtime thoughts:

What's wrong with waiting.. good things come, right?  What's the rush?  Doing the best I can.. waited 7 years.. why rush it now..?

3 tattoo ideas.. really itching to get more done.. maybe bday tattoos.

I don't know why I sometimes long for the feelings I had when I knew/know I was unhappy.  It's not that I want to be unhappy- goodness knows I'm not always happy these days.. but it's more like the feeling in the air..  The thought of wanting more.  At the risk of sounding horribly cliche and movie-like - the rush of being alive.. feeling so alone with someone, and so conscious of yourself at the same time.  I don't want to be sad.  I just want to feel life.  

Happiness is the best feeling.. but sadness lingers and stabs and permeates.  

Bathtime bands:

Deathcab for Cutie

Band of Horses

Feist

Interpol

The Stills

Iron and Wine

Modest Mouse

I miss the old times.

I've been thinking lately about life. I feel sad.. about the way things change sometimes.

Things are not the same as they were a year ago, let alone 5 years ago. Of course, a lot of changes have been good. but people have not only grown up, they've grown apart.

I've been looking at old photos a lot the past couple days and everyone used to be so much closer. Now it seems that people just can't stand each other anymore. Like it's not worth fixing a friendship. It's just sad.

I've got photos of all of you hugging each other. All of you laughing together. All of you having good times. You can't tell me the good times never existed. I have the most proof of it out of everyone. Unfortunately, I hold on to those photos for dear life sometimes.

I miss all the get-togethers at the old house. I miss inviting everyone and not thinking about how one person's going to be mad if another one is there. I miss just going out at night and hanging out somewhere for hours.. just because that's what we did.

Don't you guys miss it too?

I keep trying to think of ways to get people talking again.. but it's out of my reach. The best I can do is to stay out of it.. because it doesn't get me anywhere. All I can ask is for everyone to agree to disagree. Let go of pride and move past it all.

Realize that it doesn't help to hold on to some hostility or anger towards someone. It stresses me out just thinking about it.. I can't believe people can move on with this negativity hanging over their head.

Maybe I don't understand because I'm not involved. Just consider the rewards to getting along.

I miss the old times.