Spoken words like moonlight. You're the voice that I like.

I decided to take a bath.. it lasted about 40 minutes.. I am pruney, soft and I smell good from bath mix stuff.  clean, lavendary, cozy.   

I listened to The Stills radio station on Pandora.. and drank a glass of wine.. alternating between zoning out and flinging drops of water towards Corbin.  The rhythm of the water is relaxing.

Bathtime thoughts:

What's wrong with waiting.. good things come, right?  What's the rush?  Doing the best I can.. waited 7 years.. why rush it now..?

3 tattoo ideas.. really itching to get more done.. maybe bday tattoos.

I don't know why I sometimes long for the feelings I had when I knew/know I was unhappy.  It's not that I want to be unhappy- goodness knows I'm not always happy these days.. but it's more like the feeling in the air..  The thought of wanting more.  At the risk of sounding horribly cliche and movie-like - the rush of being alive.. feeling so alone with someone, and so conscious of yourself at the same time.  I don't want to be sad.  I just want to feel life.  

Happiness is the best feeling.. but sadness lingers and stabs and permeates.  

Bathtime bands:

Deathcab for Cutie

Band of Horses

Feist

Interpol

The Stills

Iron and Wine

Modest Mouse

Gimme some monaaay

Quick News

-My boyfriend's sister, Maren, is having her baby tomorrow! I'm so excited!
-I'm going to start moving on the 13th (and I shall cease on the 24th)
-Trace is visiting the first weekend of April!
-My work clothes all shrink and I look dumb with my pants not touching the floor.
-This is awesome: http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0E004262CCFD6FEC?artistid=1300805&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=1

ready to go

Places I'd like to visit, in no particular order:

• Asheville, NC (more more more!)
• San Diego, CA
• Baltimore, Maryland
• Arizona - Tuscon, Scottsdale, Phoenix
• Dallas - Where Rosie lives.
• Chicago, IL
• Seattle (definitely in the summer, again)
• San Fransisco, CA
• Italy/Sicily
• Iceland
• Richmond, VA

For the most part, I want to see warm cities.. I don't like the cold.. and I love the excitement and variety of the city. If I didn't live in GA, Atlanta would be a great place to visit.

I can't wait for summer..

some day the trees will sing

Crap. 

I want to write meaningful things.  I found this website with daily 60-second writing prompts.  I would love to get into doing that but I just don't feel like I can force myself to write.  My words used to be so fluid but these days I just find myself stuck.. or pressured.. or nervous about time (that it takes) and worth (of what I produce).

Writing is so therapeutic.. it can be.  I like to think that it helps me.. and I admit, I love looking back in time to my old writing.  I even enjoy the hideous writings of my tom-boy, boy-crazy, teen-angsty, puberty-confused, misunderstood 14 year old self.  I do.

I would love to start saving up my money for the day someone invents the brain-typewriter.  Or the brain-computer.. where I can think of what I want and then choose to upload it onto a flash-drive.. or print it out onto a small strip of paper like a receipt.  It sounds like I'm just being lazy.. and that's part of it, but my problem is really that I stop myself too often.  I think my brain moves too fast and too unorganized for my hands to keep up.  Damn.

I feel like I know how to make my life fulfilling, but it's hard when you still have to be responsible and so conscious of the things you "have" to get done.. and the things you don't want to do or even think about.  

I've been doing some major soul searching in the past 2 days.. and I don't mean the magical, exciting kind where I strand myself in the woods with just a pen and paper for hours to pour out my raw emotions.  I mean simply and boring-ly I've been thinking hardcore about what is going to make me happy in life.  ..about what is going to help me grow and progress and "bloom" so to speak.  Such a stereotypically stifling life has me by the throat and the heart right now.  

I never thought I'd be the "9-5 type" and guess what, turns out I'm not really.  It's do-able.. and I'm surely grateful to have income.  It just really makes me step back and try to put things into perspective.  

John says that we're going to live to be 100 years old.  He thinks we'll be able to clone the parts of our body that fail in old age, by the time we get to old age, like in that movie The Island (Oh shit, you haven't seen it?  My bad.  Not missing much.)  

I am 25 right now.  I think it took quite a long time for me to get to this point (about 25 years I'd say).  I cannot imagine living for an average of another 75 years doing what I am doing today.  Or even 40 years, more realistically.

Really, we all hope to be a little further along and move up in our jobs.. but I just mean I can't do this 'wake up at 7:15, get to work at 8:30, work work work boring boring boring, lunch at 1pm, boring boring boring work work, leave at 5pm, go home, eat dinner, say hi to my cats, go to sleep, wake up at 7:15a.m. again' thing forever.

I know it sounds hopeless to complain about.. but I know there's more out there for myself.  I know I'm going to find it.  It's just this waiting period.. ugh.

I feel a little better after writing this.  Still tense and stifled and worried.. but at least happy that something positive came of it here.  

By the way, if you're interested

The One-Minute Writer

Listening to: Moving Mountains - 'Pneuma,' 'Foreword'

about the 365 pix

My camera is kind of not working right now.. So I haven't been able to take my 365 photos.. So I guess I fail.  :(

Yea, I can do it with the phone on my camera, (that's how I did the 'from work' pix) but it's just not the same..

The camera claims that there's no memory card in there, when CLEARLY there is.  Trust me.  

Stupid camera.  I have only had it for like a year and I've already had to send it to Canon to be fixed once.

I DO use it a lot though.. maybe it's me.  Maybe I put too much pressure on it.

1/20/09

It's freaking freeezing.

By the way.. Kitty's name is Keaton.   Poor baby has a cold..

1/19/09

New Kittycat.  His full name is not 100% chosen yet.  So, I am not ready to tell officially.

1/18/09

::no photo taken::

I guess I forgot.. I wanted to relax.... I did get something though.. see next post

1/17/09

::no photo taken::

sat in the car all day.. on the way home from Ft. Lauderdale.. Exhausted.

1/16/09

The 19th Hole

1/15/09

So tired.

1/14/09

Hungover as hell.  All puffy and ugly and miserable.   

Feeling better.. in Cozumel

1/13/09

I believe we were sitting at the bar, The 19th Hole

1/12/09

Layeth my head upon the pillow.. of the Cruiseth Ship, Navigator of the Seas.

1/11/09

Not a good pic, not taken by me.. but it's what i got.

Sittin in the hotel room.. Ft. Lauderdale.. playing Cranium.. and losing.

1/10/09

Today's photo post is special.

I gots my hurr did! So this horrendous photo is the "Before." I'm sitting in my salon chair with goop all on my roots.. remember those ugly roots from yesterday? They're going away.

AFTER! Ta DAAAAAA. All better

Today I amused myself by doing the following:

Corbin likes to be in the bathroom with me, no matter what I'm doing. I usually let him in to shut him up. For once I got in there before he realized I shut the door. So as he tried to get into the bathroom, I yelled at the door, "Privacy please!" "Someone's in here!" "I'll be right out!" As if I were in a public bathroom.

Hey, I said "amused myself."

1/9/09

Even though John was in yesterday's pic, he made it into today's as well. The reason is because I'm going on a cruise and I won't see him for a week.

Another reason why this pic is cool is because it's BEFORE I got my hair-did. So you can see how awesomely nasty my roots are. Like 2 inches of ashy dirty blond nast.

1/8/09

I love this silly boy. We have so much fun together. Check out the video we made tonight.

John and Heidi...

No no no.. It's rated PG13.
If you watch it at work, just turn down the sound.

Okay.. all that makes it sound bad. but it's not bad. promise. Just might get you some weird looks from your neighboring cubicles :)

I made Taco Soup today and John just had his THIRD bowl.. holy crap. That boy is so picky, so I'm really happy he likes it. What's even better is that it's really not bad for us. Yes, we put Fritos and cheese and sour cream in it.. but I think that's okay.. because the soup itself is SO GOOD for you that it kinda balances out.

I like this photo thing.. it's a lot of fun. I'm going to be a tiny bit sad next week though, because although I will continue to take my daily photos, I won't be able to upload them. ...because JESS AND I WILL BE ON A CRUUUUUUUUUISE!!!! Yay! So, I think I'll live ;)

I'll just have to upload them on Sunday the 18.

Don't worry.. I'll still see you tomorrow and Saturday. TTFN.

1/7/09 Photo

I have just been dragging my ass around the last couple days. I can't seem to get to bed before midnight these days, whether it's within my control or not.

I have these huge bags under my eyes. Not very attractive.

I was ready to go to sleep Wed night at about 11:15 but then realized they were replaying the season premiere of Damages. (Ladies view) I have never seen it before but now I want to go back and watch Season 1. It looks SO GOOD. and I don't like Glenn Close all that much.. but I can deal with her.

Playing with my food.

Well, I haven't kept up very well with this blog in the past. However, I'd like to take a cue and some inspiration from Erin and Jess, and write every day.

I always like and want to write.. but I don't always have the inspiration. It also helps when I know people are reading..

So, I've decided to begin the 365 photo project to get me on here everyday.. and hopefully get you interested in checking me out. ::wink::

You may or may not know, I really like taking photos. Actually, that's an understatement. I absolutely LOVE taking photos and feel naked and incomplete when I don't have my camera to grab and snap a photo with. So, I really believe it will help me get my hiney back to this site daily.

Today, I'm at work. Lunch is almost over.. and that means I'll have to stop playing online, sign back in, and open my office door.

I still smell like an orange, which is actually not too bad. I told my Mom, on the phone, that I wasn't sure whether we should have Clemintines on the car-ride to the ass bottom of Florida because they'll be messy and smelly. I know it's smelly in a good way.. but citrus can hand out headaches occasionally.

Today also marks a milestone - I've finally learned how to get photos from my camera to the computer. Which is a bummer because that would have come in handy a week ago before I lost all the old photos on the old camera. Such is life.